It’s often said that the fear of public speaking is more widespread than the fear of death. I have often had it cited to me when working with folk who are preparing to share their message with others. Is it really true that people would prefer to die than stand up and share a short anecdote with others? Yet, as hard as it is to find a scientific basis for this assertion, there is something in it that rings true for many. Do you, like others, feel the cold sweat on your palms, the rise of blood to the cheeks, the nagging doubt in your stomach that you will forget your words, the tremble of your knees as you stand up to present? You are not alone.
Many people approach me asking to be coached so that they no longer feel nervous when presenting. The fears become even more acute when they are speaking about something that really matters to them or causes that they deeply care about. So imagine their surprise when I tell them that the focus of their work with me is not to get rid of their fears but instead to become friends with them. To understand why this approach helps requires us to understand why we feel nervous in the first place.
Fear is our body’s early warning system that something is happening that demands our attention – but more than that, it is our body’s way of helping us in these moments that matter. It’s the source of our flight, fight, freeze response, developed over millennia to help us get the energy to run away from sabre tooth tigers, the boost of strength to help us fight marauding invaders and the cool detachedness required to assess which option is best when protecting people we love. And the good thing about these hard-wired intuitions is that they operate far quicker than our thinking side of the brain. It is our instincts operating to get us ready to do what we need to do.
So instead of seeing fear as the enemy, how can we use our responses to help us? And how does that assist us when it isn’t woolly mammoths we are running away from but an audience staring at us as we prepare to start speaking? There are many, many things that we can explore in this context but broadly, it breaks down into three main steps:
1 – Learn to notice what our body does in moments of stress: what is your ‘tell’?
Everyone reacts differently in moments of fear. If you know that you tend to feel sick when you are about to speak, look out for the early warning queasiness rather than waiting for that moment you are running out to the loo. You will be surprised to see how much more in control we are of our fears when we pay them attention rather than try to ignore them.
2 – Welcome the help that our body is trying to give us: the power of the pause.
Our body is trying to give us the boost of dopamine, cortisol and adrenaline we need for the extra energy and brain power we need in these important moments. If we pause to regulate our emotions, then our body will give us the help it needs. If we don’t pause, then our body may flood us with too much or too little of what we need. Learn to work in the power of the pause to react and not supress it.
3 – Give our body what it needs: breathe, breathe, breathe.
Your mind and body are designed to work together but in moments of stress, they need a lot of energy to make sure they deliver. They are fuelled in these moments by oxygen – the brain uses huge amounts to ensure that it processes all the information your body is giving it as well as ensuring that you have the physical breath needed in order to produce the noise necessary for you to be heard. Allowing yourself space to breathe not only allows you to collect your thoughts, it enables you to regulate your fears – and sound more authoritative as you do so!
Of course, there’s a lot that can be built onto these three key rules. How you find your message, who you are sharing it with, what to do with your body, which format of notes work best are some of the many facets of a successful presentation. But unless and until you learn to welcome and work with your fears, then they will always trip you up. So don’t run away from your fears but learn to embrace them as the friends they are.
WHY NOT GET IN TOUCH AND FIND OUT MORE ABOUT HOW WE CAN HELP YOU FIND AND SHARE THE MESSAGES THAT MATTER?
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